I need some opinions, please

[mmegaera]

So. I filled out a form for Indies Unlimited to have my book Sojourn included in their new releases post for December.

I got an email back from them today saying that they approve of my submission except for one thing. They find one of the lines in my blurb confusing, and want me to change it, not just for their post, but on Amazon and my other sales pages.

My first reaction was, say what?

I'm fine with changing the blurb for their site if they dislike that line so much, but on my sales sites? Isn't that a bit much for them to ask?

Anyway, the blurb in question is below, with the line in question underlined. I'd really like input on two things -- one, do you find the line in question confusing, and two, do you think these folks should be asking people to change things on their sales sites to suit this one website?

Time isn’t everything it appears to be.

State trooper Daniel Reilly never thought he’d wind up in his stepmother’s favorite movie. Chasing a suspected drunk driver through Washington’s desolate Okanogan Highlands is part of his job, but crashing his cruiser and waking up in a ghost town definitely isn’t. And when that ghost town starts to come to life?

His version of Brigadoon is not a carefree musical.

Comments

[thnidu]

I can see them complaining because it's a sentence fragment, but I don't see that as a valid reason: it works here. How about changing the Q-mark to an ellipsis:?

State trooper Daniel Reilly never thought he’d wind up in his stepmother’s favorite movie. Chasing a suspected drunk driver through Washington’s desolate Okanogan Highlands is part of his job, but crashing his cruiser and waking up in a ghost town definitely isn’t. And when that ghost town starts to come to life...

His version of Brigadoon is not a carefree musical.

[mmegaera]

The grammar's not what's bothering them. At any rate, I politely declined.