help?

[mmegaera]

Really, seriously depressed for the last couple of days, including crying jags, getting upset at people (albeit for extremely good reason) to the point where I can't make my points clear to them, etc., etc., etc.

Please, tell me a funny story. I could use one right about now. Do it by commenting here so I can find it. Pretty please? With sugar and a cherry?

Thanks.

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Old but still makes me giggle: the chocolate penis saga, or, what happens when my cousin loses a bet: http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/6303360.html

The #dreamwidth quotes database: http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/

Once upon a time, when attempting to do something foolish to attract the attention of A Boy, I was walking while reading a book. (Not uncommon.) I saw the set of stairs in front of me, and managed to trip myself going down them (on purpose). I tumbled to the ground at his feet, ensuring his attention. "That'll teach me to walk and read," I said, and picked myself up and brushed myself off. Then I planted my face in the book again, and headed on my merry way.

This is the guy who was later sacked from his job as a Desk Guy checking IDs headed in to the dorm for lighting sparklers (indoors). Also gambling, but mostly the sparklers.

One day my roommate and I were hanging out in the office of the on-campus police officer, when we smelled something very green walking down the hallway, and saw a guy with a really improbably large and long bulge in his sweatpants. "All right ladies, I've got to lock up," the officer said, and kicked us out so she could go and have a talk with the guy trying to smuggle his bong into the dorm. (Backpacks, for the record, were not inspected going in.)

Legal humor: http://www.loweringthebar.net/

The funniest police blotter I've ever read: The Arcata Eye's Police Log: http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/ -- and the new stuff is at http://madriverunion.com/category/police-logs/

[mmegaera]

Chocolate pen!ses. Oh, dear god.

Thank you. I think.