help?

[mmegaera]

Really, seriously depressed for the last couple of days, including crying jags, getting upset at people (albeit for extremely good reason) to the point where I can't make my points clear to them, etc., etc., etc.

Please, tell me a funny story. I could use one right about now. Do it by commenting here so I can find it. Pretty please? With sugar and a cherry?

Thanks.

Comments

[azurelunatic]

Old but still makes me giggle: the chocolate penis saga, or, what happens when my cousin loses a bet: http://azurelunatic.dreamwidth.org/6303360.html

The #dreamwidth quotes database: http://qdb.dreamwidth.net/

Once upon a time, when attempting to do something foolish to attract the attention of A Boy, I was walking while reading a book. (Not uncommon.) I saw the set of stairs in front of me, and managed to trip myself going down them (on purpose). I tumbled to the ground at his feet, ensuring his attention. "That'll teach me to walk and read," I said, and picked myself up and brushed myself off. Then I planted my face in the book again, and headed on my merry way.

This is the guy who was later sacked from his job as a Desk Guy checking IDs headed in to the dorm for lighting sparklers (indoors). Also gambling, but mostly the sparklers.

One day my roommate and I were hanging out in the office of the on-campus police officer, when we smelled something very green walking down the hallway, and saw a guy with a really improbably large and long bulge in his sweatpants. "All right ladies, I've got to lock up," the officer said, and kicked us out so she could go and have a talk with the guy trying to smuggle his bong into the dorm. (Backpacks, for the record, were not inspected going in.)

Legal humor: http://www.loweringthebar.net/

The funniest police blotter I've ever read: The Arcata Eye's Police Log: http://www.arcataeye.com/category/police-log/ -- and the new stuff is at http://madriverunion.com/category/police-logs/

[mmegaera]

Chocolate pen!ses. Oh, dear god.

Thank you. I think.

*hugs*

[ysabetwordsmith]

Funny poems:

"Flatter Than a Grass Mat"
"What He-She Said"

Re: *hugs*

[mmegaera]

ROFL Thank you.

Of course Wile E. Coyote is a trickster!

Re: *hugs*

[ysabetwordsmith]

You're welcome! I'm glad you got a laugh out of this.

I've always seen Coyote and Roadrunner as tricksters. When we got to the grass mat story in my college class on Native American literature, I made the whistle-splat noise and everyone laughed. The parallel was just so clear. Gotta love it.

[threeringedmoon]

I wish I could take you to my yoga class. There is nothing much funnier than a bunch of middle-aged plus women attempting to do yoga. Sometimes I think we get more benefit from the belly laughs than the poses.

[mmegaera]

I've thought about taking a beginning yoga class...

[dfledermaus]

I don't have anything personal to offer (I have tons of funny stories about myself, but if you say, "tell me something funny" my mind goes blank).

BUT
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

Allie Brosh (hyperboleandahalf) is always amusing and sometimes screamingly funny. I actually wanted to link you to the story about her and some friends at a birthday party when she was a child, acting like a pack of wolves, that still leaves me laughing hysterically after all the times I've read it. Unfortunately it's off the sidebar and buried in old posts, but the one I linked to is a classic. She also has a couple of recent posts on her depression that are achingly honest yet manage to be humorous as well.

Hope you feel better soon.

[mmegaera]

Thanks. I know exactly what she means about being a grown-up. I'm firmly convinced my grown-up card is forged, and if the grown-up police ever find out, I'm going to be in a world of trouble.

If Feedly ever comes back up, I'll add her to my RSS feeds [g]

[dfledermaus]

Oh! Here's one I just remembered:

http://blog.kohan-studio.com/

Almost entirely in Japanese with the occasional English or German subtitle, but you don't really need to read anything, just look at the pictures. I mean, baby otters.

[mmegaera]

I love otters [sigh].

[nishatalitha]

I'm sure I have funny stories, but I don't really remember them off the top of my head. I do, however, get delivered an email every Friday (Australian time) of jokes/funny stories, of mostly Antipodean-type humour from here. If you've seen the movie Patch Adams (I haven't) or know of what he does, they do a similar sort of work. There's a link to sign up to the mailing list on their website.

I went to a seminar of theirs when I was in high school or had just entered and I have been on their mailing list ever since. They often cheer me up on (now) a Thursday afternoon.

*hugs* Hope you're starting to feel better—but if you're not don't feel bad about that.

[mmegaera]

Alas, the link doesn't work [sigh]. I've tried it a couple of times over the last couple of days.

[nishatalitha]

Try the link without any html and see if this works: http://www.chy.com.au/

[mmegaera]

That worked. Thanks!