I'm ba-ack
Jan. 22nd, 2015 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mmegaeraFrom a week in Texas, that is, and the weirdest visit to my mother I've ever had. She's settled into her assisted living nest now, which reminds me very peculiarly of a dorm for senior citizens (much nicer and newer and better appointed than any dorm I ever lived in, but still). I went through her house, which will be going on the market in the spring, stowing what I wanted (mostly slides my father and I took on the many trips the three of us took together after all three of my sisters married the year I turned 12) in the quilt box my father built that my mother insists I inherit (not that I'm arguing with her even if I have no clue how I'm going to fit it into my condo which is already fairly crowded).
My sister who lives down there will be hiring a mover to ship stuff to the other three of us in a month or two, then there will be an estate sale, then the house and Mother's car will be sold. Part of me is glad we're doing this while Mother is still alive, because it's forcing us to be civil to one another (a serious feat -- I doubt any of us will stay in touch with each other once my mother is gone), but part of me wonders how Mother really feels about having her life dismantled before her eyes (one does not ask my mother for her true feelings on anything).
Speaking of Mother, in spite of my sister's repeated declarations that Mother is happy in her new digs, the word I would use is "resigned." As in this is the best of a set of bad options. And my job while I was down there was to nod and agree and give my sister props (she is, as she kept iterating, the boots on the ground, and I wouldn't trade places with her for anything). Even if I had a better alternative for Mother in mind, I wouldn't dare oppose my three sisters to implement it, so it's a moot point, anyway.
So the situation is what it is. I don't think my mother is going to be with us all that much longer. She's so fragile that I had to be careful when I hugged her. For all I know, this may have been the last time I see her alive.
It's all just weird. And awkward. And uncomfortable (staying in my sister's condo in particular). My dad died suddenly 22 years ago. It feels now like my mother's been dying for years. And I'm incredibly ambivalent about the whole situation.
Wow, am I glad to be home.
And on the bright side, the Seahawks played an amazing last five minutes of the NFC championship game on Sunday...
My sister who lives down there will be hiring a mover to ship stuff to the other three of us in a month or two, then there will be an estate sale, then the house and Mother's car will be sold. Part of me is glad we're doing this while Mother is still alive, because it's forcing us to be civil to one another (a serious feat -- I doubt any of us will stay in touch with each other once my mother is gone), but part of me wonders how Mother really feels about having her life dismantled before her eyes (one does not ask my mother for her true feelings on anything).
Speaking of Mother, in spite of my sister's repeated declarations that Mother is happy in her new digs, the word I would use is "resigned." As in this is the best of a set of bad options. And my job while I was down there was to nod and agree and give my sister props (she is, as she kept iterating, the boots on the ground, and I wouldn't trade places with her for anything). Even if I had a better alternative for Mother in mind, I wouldn't dare oppose my three sisters to implement it, so it's a moot point, anyway.
So the situation is what it is. I don't think my mother is going to be with us all that much longer. She's so fragile that I had to be careful when I hugged her. For all I know, this may have been the last time I see her alive.
It's all just weird. And awkward. And uncomfortable (staying in my sister's condo in particular). My dad died suddenly 22 years ago. It feels now like my mother's been dying for years. And I'm incredibly ambivalent about the whole situation.
Wow, am I glad to be home.
And on the bright side, the Seahawks played an amazing last five minutes of the NFC championship game on Sunday...
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Date: 2015-01-25 05:12 am (UTC)