question

[mmegaera]

Why do some people insist that other people's gut feelings are wrong? Not different, but wrong?

Esp. after having it explained that while the brain understands why the intention of the subject in question may not have been what it feels like, the gut just -- doesn't?

It's like telling someone their opinion is wrong. Facts are one thing, and can be right or wrong. But opinions are just different from each other, even if they're radically unacceptable to the other side.

Oh, Bujold list, sometimes I'd like to squeeze your little throat until something pops loose.

Comments

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

It varies, including ...

1) They've had their own instincts obliterated by other people's declarations so much they don't realize it's a problem to do that.

2) They think theirs is the One True Right And Only Way.

3) Very occasionally people have instincts that are consistently wrong. That's an observable effect. One might point it out in hopes of avoiding future mishaps based on wrong instincts.

Re: Well...

[mmegaera]

I suspect John's problem is #2. And one iteration of #3 just in case was plenty. By the time he did it four times I had just about had enough.

Re: Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Handling #3 without being a dick requires great delicacy. Few people can manage that.

Re: Well...

[mmegaera]

Good point. And it's not like the subject was one in which any damage was going to be done if the instinct (really more of an opinion, which can differ but not really be wrong, even if it's misguided beyond all redemption, which this wasn't -- er, sorry) was wrong in the first place.

Re: Well...

[cleverthylacine]

In regard to point #3, when tempted to point out this effect, it's always advisable to consider whether or not this person's bad instincts affect you or your life in any way. If the answer is no, it isn't your business how awful their instincts are, and treading lightly if at all (asking if they'd like advice first, maybe) is a good idea--you can't help people by invading their boundaries, it makes them defensive.

Re: Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Oh, I spend a lot of time ignoring other people's foolish mistakes and badly tuned instincts that don't directly affect me. Frequently I ignore even the ones that do because, fuck it, not worth the grief I get for speaking truths that nobody ever wants to hear. I only tend to speak up when it's driving me nuts.