mmegaera | final prognosis

Well, I got my prognosis today. It's one I've pretty much been expecting since I received the results on my lung biopsy no matter how much I dreaded them. My cancer, in four different places lung, uterus, breast, and spine) is terminal (and, yes, I've had opinions. Dear godlings have I had opinions. Without treatment other than for pain (which admittedly at the moment is working better than it has since I got home from the hospital after my appendix), I've got roughly a year left. With treatment (and absolutely *no* clue what kind of pain and other quality of life levels said treatment would involve, -- information that is both essential to decision making and absolutely unavailable to me, which has got to be about the worst catch-22 on the planet), about the most I could expect is two years, possibly less. I'm at the point of trying to decide what to do. I'll be honest. I am firmly on the side of quality vs. quantity. It's not worth it to me to be in agony for two years just to live that extra year. Bear in mind, though, a) that I will do what I feel is right for me to do,and b) that I only got this information *today,* so the absolute last thing I need anyone to do right now is have anyone tell me that I should do my best to live as long as possible. I'm not saying this because I think any of you would do these things to me, but because I need to be emphatic about it *for me*, no matter what (so far as I know I was perfectly healthy at the end of May). FWTW. I'm still pretty much in shock over it all, and will be for a while. my sister Ann and Loralee are taking good care of me, Ann has been holding my hand all the way, and Loralee's already found two good assisted living places for me to visit, which will convert to hospice when the time comes, and which have space available either immediately or with in a couple of weeks.

So. That's my news. Anyone local who wants to be on the list of people I give my new address digs to who would like to, given my current condition that day, either come visit or possibly even take me out for a visit, please comment here.

And I still welcome all good thoughts, etc. Please.

At least I was right when I kept complaining that Social Security and Medicare would no longer be there for me when I got old enough to be eligible for it...

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

ndrosen

Oh, no.

Life isn't fair, and sooner or later it comes to an end.

I'm sorry to hear if your prognosis, and angry, but who is there to be angry at?

hedda62

I'm very, very sorry to hear your news. Glad that you have people to take care of you, though, and that you are willing to be taken care of.

Given the state of the world who knows if any of us will be here in a year, but it has to suck horribly to be sure. Sending you good thoughts.

filkferengi

Trust you to be thorough, on even getting cancer. ;(

It may be everywhere else, but at least it's not to the brain yet, so you've time and space [and helpers, yay!] to think and plan and decide what's best for you. I'm sorry.

thnidu

I am so sorry to hear this. My dear wife of 39 years was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2008. I loved her and helped her all the way through holding her and hearing her last breath in 2011; her last word was "Love". I am praying for your healing and for strenght of body, mind, and spirit.

nishatalitha

Oh no. I'm very sorry to hear your prognosis.

You are still in my thoughts and prayers.

philomytha

I am so sorry to hear this. I'm glad you have friends and family around you to help you manage all the practicalities, and I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

threeringedmoon

This really sucks. I am so glad you have Ann and Loralee with you.

Edited Date: 2017-08-12 05:10 pm (UTC)

castiron

I'm so very sorry to hear that.

FWIW, Dr. Atul Gawande in Being Mortal also comes down on the side of quality of time over quantity of time when it comes to end-of-life decisions.

stoutfellow

Oh, Meg. I'm so sorry.

I don't know what else to say. Just know that there are people who are glad to have known you, and who'll miss you when you're gone.

annathepiper

I said it on Facebook and I'll say it here: I'm so sorry. :(

If there is anything at all I can do for you please let me know.

kk1raven

I'm so sorry the prognosis wasn't better. I think the right choice is the one that allows you to make the most of what time you have left, however you define that. I'll continue to keep you in my thoughts.

mmegaera

Thank you.

Thank you. Me, too.

Thank you, Jim. I am very glad we got to be friends.

Thank you. I certainly will.

Yes. And thank you.

Thank you, and me, too.

desertvixen

Not the news we hoped for. I'm glad that you have people there to help you. ((( )))

We send our good thoughts and purrs your way, and let you know I'm here on DW or email if there's anything we can do for you from here.

Can we get your mailing address when you're settled?

Thank you very much. And yes, I'll do the address thing as soon as I have one.

archangelbeth

I... *hugs so much oh damn oh damn*

I'm sorry I'm not being good with words at all and...

Still thinking good thoughts.

Thank you. And please do keep up the good thoughts. Knowing they're still coming is a very good thing.

dfledermaus

I was hoping desperately that it would turn out to be something smaller and easier; I'm so sorry to hear this. This is the time to absolutely only think about what is best for you, and please do let us know if there is anything you want.

My mother once said to me that she was touched by everyone's response when she announced she had cancer, but after a while she got tired of every conversation being about her cancer. She wanted to talk to people about other things, too.

Also putting my hand up for your snail mail address.

I'm in Helsinki so my internet access is intermittent but definitely keeping you in my thoughts.

azurelunatic

I'd like to be on the list, especially as I seem to have become local-ish.

I'll put my hand up for the address, too.

opakele

Meg, I am sorry to hear your news.

I agree with you on quality over quantity.

I would like your address.

I also have visited a number of assisted living facilities in this area when my dad was bad. I may have some input on some of the places you are considering. Or, you may have some input I may need for future reference.

I'm glad you have support. Take care of yourself.

True. Although I have to say that I'm still at the "touched" stage. I would adore a postcard from Helsinki if that's possible. But it might get lost in the mail if you sent it before I get moved into assisted living the end of this month, beginning of Sept. I can send you my new address as soon as I have it, if that's okay? And if the subject comes up and any other listees you can vouch for there would like to have my address, it's okay to play clearing house that way, although with the address availability timing that might get difficult. I do understand if it does.

Thank you so much.

It looks like I'm going to be at Franke Tobey Jones up near Pt. Defiance. I'm fortunate money-wise, thanks to an inheritance from my mother last January (which was supposed to be my retirement nest egg), and suddenly have more money than time [wry g]. I will let people know when I have my new address -- hopefully by the first week in September.

Will post it when I have it. Where are you now?

It will be made known here when I have it.

I'm only here for a few more days unfortunately (having a blast with Finnish friends, though), so if you have a local friend or relative who could receive the postcard for you, PM the address to me. Otherwise I'll write it to you but have to mail it from the US, which isn't quite as impressive.

That's okay. I'm not collecting postmarks, anyway, just happiness [g]. Thank you!

Oh, good. I hope the finding and settling-in processes go well.

Just from a quick glance at their website, they seem to have lots of options for care & lots of interesting things going on.

I'm in Tacoma at last!

I am keeping you in my thoughts.

Oh! That's only about 10 miles away!

Welcome to Tacoma!

karenhunt

I'm very sad to hear it. Glad to have met you, Meg. Do your best with the time you have,

Karen

final prognosis

Links

My books are also available on Kobo and CreateSpace.