I wish I knew

I've had cats all my life. I've never had such a negative reaction to a cat as I've had to these two. They aren't like any other cats I've ever had, and it's not just the going outside thing. It's the freak-out at being touched with the brush, let alone actually brushed and hairball remedy thing (neither of which are avoidable with long-haired cats), the recurring anal gland problem, the random sudden refusal to eat issue, the dehydration issue (why on earth would an animal dehydrate itself deliberately when there's perfectly good water available in multiple dishes in multiple places??? -- I can't force them to drink). The vet says they're healthy, so it's not that.

I've never, ever thought about re-homing any of my cats (Elli and Elena are #s 7 and 8 in my life) before, but I've wondered more than once if it would be a good idea for these two. Is it me? Or is it them? Or is it just nobody's fault and we're just not compatible?

I feel really guilty about this, but I just wanted two normal cats. Is that asking too much?