do me a favor, okay?

Don't volunteer to do something for me unless you really mean to do it. And--

If you discover after you've volunteered that you a) don't have time to do it, b) have another issue that prevents you from doing it, or c) decide that you just don't want to do it?

Just tell me, dammit. Don't drop off into the ether and wait for me to ask, and then when I do ask (which is not a very nice thing to make me do), don't evade the question. Please have the decency to drop me a one-line email in a timely manner and just say so, so I know and can move on. I won't get mad at you if you just tell me. And call a spade a spade when you do it. It'll take you all of about thirty seconds.

The one way to ruin a perfectly good friendship with me is to ignore the whole situation in hopes that it will go away. Or manipulate me into telling you to forget about it. Especially don't manipulate me into telling you to forget about it. After months have gone by.

That's the third friendship I've lost that way in less than two years. I put an "if anyone could do this?" out there, not to anyone specific, someone volunteers, and this is what happens.

It doesn't matter that you've got to back out. I get it. Life happens. It matters when I'm lied to or manipulated. Or left hanging.

This is my hot button. If anyone else tramples on it, well, you've been warned.

And if this means nobody else ever volunteers to do something for me? Well, you know, I'd rather you didn't than do this to me.

Some of us believe in honesty. And in treating friends with respect.