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Oh, yes. Decidedly.
Sep. 25th, 2007 02:42 pmFrom ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
thebluerose:
A note to our pets... To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door (pet nose height).
DearDogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and containyour food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note,placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake aclaim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find thataesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was notdesigned by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom isnot the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than youcan run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. Iam very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on thecouch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in aball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular toeach other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also knowthat sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out theother end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the lasttime, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle Ibeat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary toclaw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under theedge to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door Ientered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -canine orfeline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. .I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
ToAll Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1.They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on yourclothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur" niture.3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, theyare an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember:Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don'task for money all the time 3. Are easier to train 4. Normally come whencalled 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-usingfriends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latestfashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazilliondollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can selltheir children.
thebluerose:A note to our pets... To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door (pet nose height).
DearDogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and containyour food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note,placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake aclaim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find thataesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was notdesigned by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom isnot the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than youcan run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. Iam very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on thecouch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in aball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular toeach other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also knowthat sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out theother end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the lasttime, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle Ibeat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary toclaw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under theedge to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door Ientered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -canine orfeline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. .I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
ToAll Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets: 1.They live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on yourclothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur" niture.3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 4. To you, theyare an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short,hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember:Dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 1. Eat less 2. Don'task for money all the time 3. Are easier to train 4. Normally come whencalled 5. Never ask to drive the car 6. Don't hang out with drug-usingfriends 7. Don't smoke or drink 8. Don't have to buy the latestfashions 9. Don't want to wear your clothes 10. Don't need a gazilliondollars for college, and... 11. If they get pregnant, you can selltheir children.
