mmegaera: (Default)
[personal profile] mmegaera
Humor is probably the most singularly essential attitude. I’ve always loved it, but I never realized that it can help you through things you never dreamed (or nightmared) you’d have to.

Anyway, my IV went kaput today. It was my fault – it was in the crook of my elbow and I bent my elbow too far. But it couldn’t be fixed, so they had to put in a new one. They wanted to do two, but no, instead they’re doing something called a pick line which goes into a much deeper vein. Oh, joy. No, the proper phrase is oh, terror.

Anyway, the first (yes, the first) IV nurse poked me four times and finally got one to stick. It’s in an awkward position, and I’ll be touchpadding with my left hand for the duration, but at this point I’ll take what I can get. The problem is that my veins, never very visible or welcoming to needles at the best of times, have retreated and are hidden in a bunker somewhere deep in my arms, waiting for the artillery barrage to cease once and for all.

The second IV nurse had a much better technique, but had no luck at all.

And by then the CT scan people were like, can you get her down here sometime in this century, please?

So off I went in a gurney, with an exceedingly nice young woman pushing me along, who stayed to chat with me while they set things up, and was part of what I can only describe as a Monty Pythonesque discussion about the reaction I would experience to the injection of the contrast dye in my new IV port. The word urrrrr-iinnn-aaaaa-shhhhuuuunnn was uttered repeatedly (one of the effects of the dye is to make you feel like you’re peeing). When I made the Python comment it only egged them on, fake Brit accents and everything. Really, really just what I needed after all that what felt like being that knight who kept talking like it was just a scratch in MP and the Holy Grail, thank you very much.

It really does need to be made clear to someone who can enforce this, that needles are for *sewing*, and sewing *only.* I want the IV version of the Vorkosiverse hypospray.

Cranberry juice!!! Omigosh, liquid with *flavor*!!! And not frozen!!!

Date: 2017-07-07 10:38 pm (UTC)
archangelbeth: An anthropomorphic feline face, with feathered wing ears, and glasses, in shades of gray. (Default)
From: [personal profile] archangelbeth
*makes squeaking noises of terror about the veins and needles*
*spouse asks why I am making noises*
*explains*
He can't tell the difference between me being eeeeeee and amusement. Hmph.

Hooray, cranberry juice!!! (Were they concerned that you might not be able to swallow, or are they just trying to keep your system cleared because of the chance of Emergency Surgery? Or to keep your appendix from being stressed by Solid Matter going by it?)

(One of my IVs, when I was in the hospital, went in the back of my left hand. *shriek shriek shriek*)

PS: if you need any fundage, add me to the list of people who can try to help.

Date: 2017-07-08 03:40 am (UTC)
archangelbeth: An anthropomorphic feline face, with feathered wing ears, and glasses, in shades of gray. (Default)
From: [personal profile] archangelbeth
Payment plans are useful, this is true! But aye, thank goodness for good insurance and NO SURPRISES.

Still. If you should need us. /obLabyrinth
O:>

Date: 2017-07-08 03:37 am (UTC)
archangelbeth: An anthropomorphic feline face, with feathered wing ears, and glasses, in shades of gray. (Default)
From: [personal profile] archangelbeth
*shrieks gently at the pick line*

I suppose if they NUMB the area, that's not so bad. Then one can simply NOT LOOK. *shudder*

*hugs*
*carefully, and NOT LOOKING at the pick*

Date: 2017-07-09 02:14 am (UTC)
archangelbeth: An anthropomorphic feline face, with feathered wing ears, and glasses, in shades of gray. (Default)
From: [personal profile] archangelbeth
The picc isn't felt? It's just, well, creepy? That's something, then, at least... Creepy is okay if one doesn't have to look at it...

Date: 2017-07-08 01:23 am (UTC)
stoutfellow: Joker (Default)
From: [personal profile] stoutfellow
I hear you.

When I had my bleeding episode a few years back, they were putting blood into me via two IVs and taking blood out via two more... do they still count as IVs if they're flowing out?

It's the little things that annoy the most.

("Little", as in the tips of needles, that is.)

Date: 2017-07-08 03:42 am (UTC)
thnidu: Tom Baker's Dr. Who, as an anthropomorphic hamster, in front of the Tardis. ©C.T.D'Alessio http://tinyurl.com/9q2gkko (Dr. Whomster)
From: [personal profile] thnidu
I suppose so. "Intravenous" means, piece by piece, "within"+"vein"+"(ADJECTIVE)", and the point of the needle certainly is there.

Date: 2017-07-08 02:31 am (UTC)
opakele: (Bear)
From: [personal profile] opakele
Pick lines are intense. You will be glad you have it.

I hope the CT scan yields good information.

Rest now.

Date: 2017-07-08 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] ndrosen
Things could be worse, at least if the appendix is less inflamed, and they think they can proceed with the hysterectomy. I hope that in a few months, you'll be back to using needles for sewing and quilt-making.

Date: 2017-07-08 03:10 pm (UTC)
filkferengi: filk fandom--all our life's a circle (Default)
From: [personal profile] filkferengi
Ze spouse opines that your veins are cowering effectively in an undisclosed location.

Good news on the appendix shrinkage, the back-on hysterectomy, & especially the cranberry! Well, next time you're accused of being too pick-y, at least you'll have something to show. ;(

Date: 2017-07-08 05:48 pm (UTC)
filkferengi: filk fandom--all our life's a circle (Default)
From: [personal profile] filkferengi
Feel free to steal. Or, as Tom Lehrer classically opined, "call it research."
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